Today it has been two years since I have lost you to the dreaded anorexia. You finally gained your wings and peace. I have learned so much since then about you and our family in general. Some of it made me so mad. However I came to terms with it. The past is the past and tho yours was horrific as a child, you survived beautifully. Yes life provided you with a challenge that was your undoing. In my eyes, you still won.
I miss you terribly. I miss you sweet smile and laugh. The simple ways you enjoyed life. How i can picture you getting mad at technological advances being made. I miss the smell of your cooking and how it felt to hug you. True we often collided in our views but, I guess I get my stubbornness from you.
I have learned to appreciate how you did not like to judge those going thru difficult times. I truly embrace the simple things. I wish you were here for my own selfish reasons. Planning a wedding, even a simple one, isn’t as fun. I know you and dad will be there in spirit.
When your cremains were delivered to the house, it took me a while to look. I just couldn’t bear it. Then when i finally opened the box, it was like I felt you hugging me. When I looked at your gold name plate on the simple black box, I knew you would be upset. The gold name plate would be too fancy for your liking and I chuckled.
I thought of trying to find a way to help those fighting anorexia, and I realized that I can’t. If I could, you would still be here. I have no idea how to help them or there families. I am sure if you or God come up with something, you will let me know.
It hardly seems like it has been two years momma. I know you loved me and were proud of me. You showed me the best way you knew how and I thank you for that. I love you always and I am immensely proud of you. You were an incredible woman that left a positive footprint in our world. Even your friends have renamed one of your recipes as Patty’s Chocolate Cake.