Two years

Today it has been two years since I have lost you to the dreaded anorexia.  You finally gained your wings and peace.  I have learned so much since then about you and our family in general.  Some of it made me so mad.  However I came to terms with it.  The past is the past and tho yours was horrific as a child, you survived beautifully.  Yes life provided you with a challenge that was your undoing.  In my eyes, you still won.

I miss you terribly.  I miss you sweet smile and laugh.  The simple ways you enjoyed life.  How i can picture you getting mad at technological advances being made.  I miss the smell of your cooking and how it felt to hug you.  True we often collided in our views but, I guess I get my stubbornness from you.

I have learned to appreciate how you did not like to judge those going thru difficult times.  I truly embrace the simple things.  I wish you were here for my own selfish reasons.  Planning a wedding, even a simple one, isn’t as fun.  I know you and dad will be there in spirit.

When your cremains were delivered to the house, it took me a while to look.  I just couldn’t bear it.  Then when i finally opened the box, it was like I felt you hugging me.  When I looked at your gold name plate on the simple black box, I knew you would be upset.  The gold name plate would be too fancy for your liking and I chuckled.

I thought of trying to find a way to help those fighting anorexia, and I realized that I can’t.  If I could, you would still be here.  I have no idea how to help them or there families.  I am sure if you or God come up with something, you will let me know.

It hardly seems like it has been two years momma.  I know you loved me and were proud of me.  You showed me the best way you knew how and I thank you for that.  I love you always and I am immensely proud of you.  You were an incredible woman that left a positive footprint in our world.  Even your friends have renamed one of your recipes as Patty’s Chocolate Cake.

Sarah Cobble