Although it is cold outside, it looks beautiful. My mom would have been up well before now. Even when I was a kid she would wake me up on the weekend at 9am and tell me I was sleeping half the day away. I just groaned.
Mom was almost always up early. Even on the weekends. She would get up at four and start drinking pots of coffee. Yes I said pots. She always gave thanks to the coffee gods.
Sometimes I likes how she would get up early. If she was making a soup, like her famous hamageur
soup, the house would smell so good. It would cook for hours. I loved those times.
Of course there were chores to do. That’s not a bad thing though. I am not as good as my mom was. My house is cluttered and needs a little love. I remember watching her once and seeing how everything had to be perfect when she cleaned but never seeing a smile on her face. Even at that young age, I knew life was too short for that. If my mom were at my house she would cringe right now. It’s not dirty mind you…. just cluttered.
The last several years of her life she was a big walker. Both day and night. Hell, I couldn’t even keep up with the woman. She would walk for at least an hour each time. I have a treadmill that I will start using and the gym isn’t too far away. I am going to get back to a healthy weight. I look at our sidewalks and I can picture mom walking. As much as I would love to do that this season during the daytime, they are going to be putting in new gas lines in by our house. At least I have other options tho.
Now I picture my mom with her wings sitting on a wrap around porch, finally enjoying the things she never allowed herself. She is with my aunt and grandparents. She is with friends that have gone on before her and of course my sister that did not survive childbirth. I picture on a porch swing enjoying her coffee in heaven knowing she never has to deal with her demons again. She is free and smiling. That is what I think of when the sun is out, and we have a beautiful day. Enjoy it mom.