Sometimes it is hard to find a good way to honor my mom. The only thing that scared her more than gaining weight, was finding out she had cancer. Truthfully as strong as my mom was, I do not believe she would have truly beat the anorexia. Not because she was not strong enough. To me it is astounding that she was as “normal” as she was in life. My mom was not only a contributing member of society but she also volunteered and genuinely was a good person. I truly am proud of that. However, in order for her to truly conquer the anorexia she had to deal with the pure hell she went thru. This is especially true when those that were supposed to protect her failed miserably. My mom endured all three levels of abuse. All three, let that sink in.
My mom wanted to help others not follow down the rabbit hole that an eating disorder entails. The way anorexia robs you of life and experiences can not go understated. The food is used as a tool to have control when life spins out of control. To my mom, that was the only control she had. I spent months trying to figure out a way. I thought of talking to other people who suffer have eating disorders. I quickly dismissed that. In my mind, if it were that easy, my mom would have been saved.
So I began this blog. Left it alone for a long time. Then I came back. I realized I wanted to tell my mom’s struggle and also show the world how wonderful she was. My mom was a beautiful tragedy. Telling her whole story is how I plan to honor her. I love and miss her deeply.